もえつきる

Its been over a week since my last post. Midterms didnt go well, homework scores havent been going well. I dont know whats going on, since Im working so hard and get shit to show for it. Oh well though I suppose. I just want to lay down and sleep forever, but I have another program due tomorrow, so I probably wont sleep at all since Im so behind with it at the moment.

It would be nice if I wasnt under this constant pressure, but if I keep thinking that I know something bad will happen. I fail out of school, 0r we have no more money (which we dont) and the govt wont give loans and I have to drop out, the family biz goes bust and we are all out of jobs/careers....I dunno, I cant even flip on the tv anymore without getting depressed about the state we are in. Everything is so uncertain and its all scary. We are already at the place where we have no money, dont know if we should keep the house, etc. I guess thats really stressing me out, especially because I have no one to talk to it about. And right now my notsohott grades and stuff make me feel like Im not doing my part for being in school. If theyre partially paying for it, it seems like Im just throwing it all away--but Im really trying to work soo hard....

I need a boyfriend. That sounds dumb, but having someone there for you like that is really nice. I think Im a strong person so its not like I Need a man, I just really want one. I miss it, I miss having something to care for that will care for me back. Someone new to bring the light back into things. Im swallowed by all the people here, stuck, but theyre all just...I dunno..I cant think..

Anyways, I should probably get back to work


Burn Out

~A.Sky